How to Create a Safe Space

Jul 9

Creating Safe Spaces

The past couple of months has me thinking about the power of telling your unique story, safe spaces and the importance of both. As a counselor I try hard to create space for individuals to come in, feel welcome and heard. If a client does not feel comfortable sharing their experiences and their self-identities it will be impossible to build a relationship with them. This relationship is important because time and time again in research it has been shown to be the most effective trait of allowing the client to achieve their goals.

I think making space is also about allowing the space to just be, without forcing change. Often anxiety, fear, and depression can stem from the stories we tell ourselves about a situation, or the rules that come in the form of “should” statements. These “should” statements can be so loud it is hard to find what your inner voice is trying to say. Being able to talk through those stories, the “should” statements and gently pushing back on them is one way that counseling can help individuals create change allowing for rest, ease and acceptance.

Finding a Safe Space

For many people talking about their experience has not been safe. Their voice, experiences, identity, race are not seen as the “norm” or acceptable. If that is your experience it can be scary to reach out, to share your unique experiences at first. Trauma can make it extra difficult to figure out who is safe and worthy of your story. In this situation finding a counselor who does not judge, helps you stay grounded, does not push you to tell stories that are difficult until you are ready is important.

When I look back on the times in my life when I felt most heard and was able to talk about my experiences without fear of judgement, the other person was not making assumptions about me or my past. The other person clarified and made sure they were understanding me and where I was coming from This is what I strive for when I am making space for other people. Those people did not always have my same background or experiences but were willing to hear me and checked in to make sure they were understanding what I was trying to say. To be honest they did not always get it right but when I pointed that out I was met with comments like, “tell me more so I can understand, thank you for letting me know”. It is in those moments when I knew that person trusted me and was showing up without judgment.

We Can Help!

At Serenity Therapy and Wellness, all of our clinicians focus on a holistic, non-judgment approach to therapy. If you are looking for space, to be truly seen, call or email to make an appointment today!

Ways to create a space for individuals:

Use language and pronouns with intention.
Create documents where individuals can see their self-identities reflected
Read authors that celebrate and tell the breadth of experiences in the world
Reflect on your own assumptions and the stories you tell yourself about race/gender/sexuality and their intersections